From: Anis sayani
Thursday, June 22, 2017 5:09 AM

My opinion if different then what writer has blamed upon men in the article. to begin with I would like to quote two verses of holy Quraan and below these two verses I am appending my opinion in this matter.

Al-Ahzab (The Confederates) 33:28
يَا أَيُّهَا النَّبِيُّ قُل لِّأَزْوَاجِكَ إِن كُنتُنَّ تُرِدْنَ الْحَيَاةَ الدُّنْيَا وَزِينَتَهَا فَتَعَالَيْنَ أُمَتِّعْكُنَّ وَأُسَرِّحْكُنَّ سَرَاحًا جَمِيلًا
33:28 O PROPHET! Say unto thy wives: �If you desire [but] the life of this world and its charms - well, then, I shall provide for you and release you in a becoming manner; [31]

At-Tahrem (The Banning) 66:5
عَسَى رَبُّهُ إِن طَلَّقَكُنَّ أَن يُبْدِلَهُ أَزْوَاجًا خَيْرًا مِّنكُنَّ مُسْلِمَاتٍ مُّؤْمِنَاتٍ قَانِتَاتٍ تَائِبَاتٍ عَابِدَاتٍ سَائِحَاتٍ ثَيِّبَاتٍ وَأَبْكَارًا
66:5 [O wives of the Prophet!] Were he to divorce [any of] you, God might well give him in your stead spouses better than you - women who surrender themselves unto God, who truly believe, devoutly obey His will, turn [unto Him] in repentance [whenever they have sinned] worship [Him alone] and go on and on [seeking His goodly acceptance] [9] - be they women previously married or virgins. [10]

These two verses of holy Quraan gives the behaviour of wives with our Holy Prophet s.a.w.

Now the fact is that all women are not equal but the circumstances described in the article has fully blamed the father which is not the case. The woman when marries her husband knows the financial position of her husband and in that financial position she accepts him as her husband. As mentioned in article the husband is the sole bread earner for the family. He goes out of home for earning the bread and butter for the family surely he being the human being gets tired after whole day's work and whatsoever he faces at work such as office politics. boss's cruelty etc he is already frustrated and tired and now when he reaches home he expects some rest and peace but on the contrary what he gets? The well rested wife and kids who usually in eastern countries get couple of hour nap before husband reaches home, become a second problem to be solve after the whole days hard work and tortures he faced at the work, wife starts complaining about kids not listening to her and giving her hard time surely he has to support his wife and in order to do that he has to show his firmness to the kids on the complaint of their mother about them, After dealing with this which has already created more frustration for him the next step comes in from wife, complaining about what he is bringing is not sufficient and then he hears about neighbours and relatives wives narration right or wrong stories about their financial wellness and the demand for more money comes in not this that he is not providing.
What Allah has told to provide but for world and its charms as mentioned in the 

verse above. Husband instead of getting appreciated for what he is doing for his family is getting derogated by the wife and getting tortured. This increases frustration and the same cycle goes on daily in routine, The wife who could tolerate her father's low income cannot tolerate low income of husband and this pressure rises on husband from wife and in this man's in laws I mean generally mother in law sister in law etc are involved without doubt , Getting support from them the wife becomes more violent and creates more problems for man instead of what she was supposed to do as a wife to support husband in bringing up the family. In my opinion these types of wives are those who use the husband like a bull who used whole the day for cultivation in hard work and then after the husband has spent his complete youth and energy for her and kids to provide them the necessity of life, she hypocritically uses this frustration of husband to make kids rebellious against father and when kids start earning now wife comes openly as an enemy against the person whom she used to get the kids which is every woman's pressing desire and then used husband's youth and hard labour in bringing them up and throws husband away like a cow whose milk has been all drained and now is placed in front of butcher for slaughtering to eat the remaining flesh out of its body. 

I see these types of wives in falling in the catagory of the following verse


At-Tahrem (The Banning) 66:10

ضَرَبَ اللَّهُ مَثَلًا لِّلَّذِينَ كَفَرُوا اِمْرَأَةَ نُوحٍ وَاِمْرَأَةَ لُوطٍ كَانَتَا تَحْتَ عَبْدَيْنِ مِنْ عِبَادِنَا صَالِحَيْنِ فَخَانَتَاهُمَا فَلَمْ يُغْنِيَا عَنْهُمَا مِنَ اللَّهِ شَيْئًا وَقِيلَ ادْخُلَا النَّارَ مَعَ الدَّاخِلِينَ
66:10 For those who are bent on denying the truth God has propounded a parable in [the stories of] Noah's wife and Lot's wife: they were wedded to two of Our righteous servants, and each one betrayed her husband; [21] and neither of the two [husbands] will be of any avail to these two women when they are told [on Judgment Day], "Enter the fire with all those [other sinners] who enter it!" [22]


On Thursday, June 22, 2017 2:26 AM, "Raza Kara 
Why Fathers Are Neglected In Old Age
-ITS A MUST READ FOR ALL FATHERS! (and mothers too!)
Take ur time and read through.
1. In the lifetime of most Nigerian family settings, there are 3 Dispensations of Power.
2. The 1st is the first 25 years in the life of the family (father, mother, children) where power indisputably rest with the father.
3. The 2nd is after the kids have grown & started working when the power shifts to the mother.
4. The 3rd is when the kids move out of the family house or start their own families when the power moves to the children.
6. We'll start from the 1st Dispensation. Total dominance of the father. He is the Lion of the Tribe of his House. The boss.
7. During this dispensation, the father rules with an iron fist. He barks orders & determines what does or does not happen.
8. The father often mettes out corporal punishment to the recalcitrant children. They grow to fear him more than they love him.
10. The father is the provider for the family & everyone is aware of that fact with all attendant consequences.
11. Then the 2nd Dispensation sets in. The children have finished school and have started working. Power shifts to the mother.
12. When the children start earning their own money, for some reason, it's their mothers they decide to look after. They are closer to her.
13. While the father was in charge, he was busy with the business of providing. He didn't have much time to be a friend to the children.
14. They spent more time with their mum and invariably grew closer to her. They also see their mum as co-victims of the father's tyranny.
15. The mother takes centre stage at this point. She is the first to know what's happening with the children & she has advantage.
16. Should any of the daughters give birth, she is the one that goes for babysitting and the children spoil her with gifts.
17. At this stage, the father is wishing for some bond with the children like they have with their mother but that boat has sailed.
18. Because the mother doesn't rely much on the father for her needs at this stage, she is less likely to tolerate his lordship. Friction.
19. Then the 3rd and last dispensation. Power has shifted to the children. They are self-sufficient, live on their own & have own families.
20. More often than not, whenever there is a quarrel between father & mother, the children side the mother.Years of joint-victimhood at play
21. Children have been known to come to the house to warn their father not to 'disturb' their mother. Next thing, extended visitations.
22. Woe betide the father if his finances are precarious at this stage. You will be humble by force. The gang-up is real.
23. This causes most men to fall ill & develop different complications. By the time the forces are arrayed against you, you will think well.
24. Stroke, Hypertension, High-Blood Pressure. The man has a large family but no relationship with them in later life. Troubling thought.
25. Moral, dear men, while the power lies with us, let us wield it with posterity in mind. It won't be with us forever.
26. With the way you are treating your wife now, how will she treat you when power shifts to her?
27. What relationship do you have with your family? Loving dad or despotic, tyrannical provider?
28. Remember, the children always side with their mother. Aim to do enough to at least get a fair hearing in future moments of family strife
30. Invest wisely for the future so that you won't have to beg to be taken care of if despite your best efforts, you find yourself alone.
ADVISE TO CHILDREN:- IT IS NOT GOOD TO ABANDON YOUR FATHER WHO DENIED HIMSELF TO GET YOU PREPARED FOR LIFE & WHO SACRIFICIALLY SOWED TO MAKE YOU WHO YOU ARE. HONOR YOUR BOTH PARENTS AND TAKE GOOD CARE OF THEM IN THEIR OLD AGE. THAT IS HOW YOU TOO WILL SOW INTO YOUR FUTURE. DONT LET NEGLECTING YOUR FATHER (PARENTS ) BE A CURSE ON YOU INTO YOUR FUTURE.
ADVISE TO MOTHERS :- DONT INCITE YOUR CHILDREN AGAINST THEIR FATHER
*Parenthood is not easy despite its joys. There is no manual on how it works. May God help us to make the best of a really tough job.
Live,Laugh,Love...Life is Beautiful !
~Author - Unknown

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